Some People

I have waited a few days before blogging about this, and since I am sure most of who this pertains too won't read my blog, I feel this is a good place for it. I am basically going to rant about certain people who are in leadership positions with children. So here is the story:

My youngest son, Kolton is in 4H. He completes the dog project each year. Two years ago were blessed with the club obtaining a trainer. Not an old school trainer, but one who used positive reinforcement and clicker training. Now, what is funny about this is not two months before I met this trainer my husband and I had been talking about trying to learn how to clicker train with our new puppy Harley. (See where this is leading?) Any how, the trainer was Jenn Stanley. Now, I know if you follow my blog, you know that Jenn and I do lots of dog stuff together and are really good friends. I can honestly say she is one of the best friends I have right now. But there's more to it than that; Jenn likes what she does with her dogs and likes helping others with their dogs. This was such a refreshing change from Kolton's previous year in 4H where the "trainer" used old school methods of a choke chain and reprimanding unwanted behavior. Techniques that were obviously not working with the dog he was using at the time. When Kolton decided to use Harley, we had our doubts about what she would do for him, but by the time county fair came that first year, both my husband and myself were very impressed. Kolton had private obedience lessons with Jenn outside of the 4H training sessions, but it wasn't just Kolton and Harley making improvements; all the kids were making improvements and their dogs seemed to like training more than they had in the past.

After county fair last year, Kolton wanted to do more with Harley, so he started taking agility classes from Jenn and then started trialing in AKC agility events. They haven't qualified yet, but they have improved immensely with Jenn's help and her teaching Kolton how to work with his dog. This year once 4H "season" came around the whole club started training with clickers. The new members were showing progress each week; something that hadn't always happened in the past; and were enjoying training with their dogs. Definitely something that had not happened in years previous. This year is really when Jenn and I started to become close friends. After training each week no one would help her pack up her stuff. All the leaders would get their things and their children and rush out to leave her there by herself. The first couple of times this happened, I admit and not so proudly I pretty much did the same thing, but it did bother me. Then I started helping her and having Kolton help her. It was the least we could do. She was taking time away from her business to volunteer with and help these kids work with their dogs and teach them techniques in which they could overcome barriers that arise. Well at least as best she could in a 45 minute time period. As the spring and summer went on, the leaders were becoming more and more distant from their co-leader and trainer and you could feel the tension from all of them. After the county fair..which let me just say this...was a sham...I have never seen grown adults act so immature in my life: Jenn decided that she no longer felt like the work she was doing for 4H was where she needed to be. I don't blame her, she was never informed of anything, the other leaders did not show any appreciation for the time she put into what she was doing for the kids, nor did they find that attending training was pertinent; as to where Jenn had to be there, nobody else knew what they were doing or would take the time to learn enough to help. Now comes time for State Fair practice. Jenn is no longer helping the club, and we have acquired Nimbus, who has to have some socialization outside of our home and with other dogs and people. Well 4H practice was on Tuesday evenings, the same night as Nimbus's puppy class; which is about an hour or so away. The first week that the club met for training, I had our oldest son take Kolton while I took Nimbus to puppy class. The second week they met, my husband had the day off work, so he was able to take Kolton. The last two weeks, I had no way of getting Kolton there, or if I could get him there, I could not pick him up. I have a small window of time that I can socialize my puppy for him to be the up most well rounded puppy I can expect, and I was not losing that opportunity, especially when Kolton was working with Harley everyday at home. I had also learned that the leaders were trying to deter Kolton from using the methods he had been learning the past two years and revert back to methods that didn't work. So I can honestly say even if I could have gotten him there, I probably would not have taken him there. Now it is time for the State Fair 4H dog show.

Kolton had asked if Jenn was going to be there, and we offered to have her ride with us, and she wanted to be there to support him and the other club members that would be there. When we first got there and set up nobody was around. As we were exiting because I had to move my car out of the loading area, I saw one of our leaders, who greeted me, waved and smiled at me. In my opinion and Jenn's happy to see that we were there. All I can say is she must not have seen Jenn walking along with me because once we got back after moving the car and finding Kolton after he went thru vet check she was not too happy. As a matter fact, none of them seemed to happy. The 3 co-leaders completely snubbed us. None of them said one word to me or Jenn, and apparently the only time they talked to Kolton to say, "Good Job" was when I was not around. Only one of the parents that were there talked to us and her daughter talked to us. Other than that nothing for most of the day. One parent asked me if I knew where one of the leaders was, and although all I said was, "No" I really wanted to say "how the hell would I know where she is seeing as how she hasn't said a single word to me all day?" But I didn't. I am sure they were all wondering where Kolton was on Sunday because he did go to do showmanship. Something that had been decided I do believe before our county show and if not very soon after. Kolton doesn't like it, he gets anxious and stressed when he is doing showmanship and therefore since it is not a requirement, he doesn't have to do it anymore. So he did not go on Sunday because all he would have done was showmanship.

What also bothers me about the leaders of the club is that once the kids get to a level that they are allowed to repeat they are ok with not working towards anything else. I don't want that type of role model for my children. I want them to reach for the sky and beyond. Especially Kolton. If I had said, "Ok Kolton you can crawl now you don't have to walk." Where would he be. He has astonished doctors all of his life with the strides he has made, and there is no way I am going to let others tell him that something bigger, better, and more is not achievable by telling him he can stay there and not work towards the bigger and better. I don't know, I just don't get some people. You put yourself in a position in which you are supposed to role models for our future and then because you are not happy with who others have for friends you teach them that you can choose to no longer speak to them and forget that you were their friend at one point. The person who was hurt the most in situation was Kolton. None of the kids talked to him. When they played games they kept him out, and that had been starting to happen earlier this year when they were at agility class for 4H. I guess because he has worked hard for where he is and is the youngest in the group but the most advanced in the sport that deserves being left out. Oh well, I hope he realizes that true friends like you no matter what. I like you when you are down and help when you are behind and then they celebrate your accomplishments even if it means you have advanced beyond them.

That is my rant, if you did not make it to the end, I completely understand, it's not fun and it's not about my Nimbus...who by the way I am getting ready to post about...but if you did make this far and you have a comment about what has been said leave one for everyone because I would like to know what others think.